“She’s a handsome woman”
It was the family butcher telling me this. He was inexpicably talking about my mother. And I was only 12 years old.
I have never quite forgotten it. Why was he telling ME this. He made it sound like our secret, which was just a little creepy. And why was he calling my mother “handsome”
Women were supposed to be pretty, not handsome. .
I was much older and just a little bit wiser when I came to realise exactly what he meant. My mother was not pretty. Pretty assumed soft and warm. My mother was neither of those things. She ruled our family with a rod of iron and a voice of steel. But she could look striking, and she had obviously struck the butcher. A fact that she used to her full advantage, assuring that we got the best meat the butcher had to offer. She may not have been soft and warm but she could use her womanly wiles when needed
She died some thirty years ago, but today she has been reincarnated. She has returned in the form of the navigation system on the rental car we are currently driving around England.
Whenever I go just one mile an hour over the speed limit, this stern voice eminates from within the car. ” You are exceeding the speed limit”. It says
It is a woman’s voice that sounds remarkably like my mother.
If I continue to drive above the speed limit, the voice sounds much sterner.
“SLOW DOWN!” She says sharply
I shiver. It is most definitely my mother’s voice.
I am afraid her next words will be “Andrew! What did I just tell you?” .
I slow down.
During the hours and days that follow, the speedometer continually suggests that I am speeding (obviously untrue), and each time my mother’s voice sounds more irritated. Mind you, I would be irritated too if I had been anxiously awaiting my reincarnation for over 30 years, only to find that I was now the voice to a mid sized SUV!
Dear readers, it has been quite some time since I have written to you, but this meagre offering is the harbinger of good news.
After three long years, I am finally back on the road again. And traveling with me is Gordon (better know as Ed) the Fabulosity Meter, and rather unexpectedly, my mother.
So please stay tuned. Or if you would rather, send a polite request asking not to be bothered by yet another blog.
Andrews Fabulous Travel Blog 
Welcome back, it’s been so very long since we have seen a new entry on Andrew’s Fabulous Travel Blog. So glad you are back in business, and what’s more you are back in dear old Blighty. If your travels bring you anywhere near our neck of the woods please come and see us – we would really love to see you both again (that’s you and Gordon – not your dear departed mother). XX Het and Alf
Staying tuned to relish every fabulous installment!
I, for one, am delighted to again relish your fine wording and story telling. You have a gift dear Andrew that calls for expression. Best and hearty regards to you and Gordon/Ed. We dearly miss you both. Randy (rarely) and Gary
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Lovely to hear that you are on the road in an exotic location, meeting weird and wonderful people (we hope). Your last blog post promised to be back in “just a few weeks . . .”.
Great to see you back! Let’s hope we bump into you on your travels. We are planning many trips of our own. Iceland/Greenland, Antarctica, and another WC.
this trip covers the Arctic, Iceland and Greenland. Stay tuned!!
So happy to hear from you ! It has been such along time ! Big hugs to you both ! Can just imagine the look on your face …. Hearing your Mum ‘s voice Coming from the dashboard ! 😱😂❤️
This calls for a bottle of Champers! Was the butcher “pretty”?
Everything calls for a bottle of bubbles! As for the butcher, I left all those decisions to my mother!
The fabulosity meter strikes again!
What a joy to see your email this morning! I’m really happy that you two are okay and I’m looking forward to reading about your adventures. 🙂
fabulous! Wonderful blog! So glad to have you back. Looking forward to future blogs. Oh, by the way, have tons of fun! And be nice to ED.
Bob
Absolutely fabulous! Looking forward to the next instalment & hearing more from Mom . . . 🙂
Have a fabulous trip, love to Gordon and of course your mother. Enjoy your time and … no, DON’T DO THAT!!!
Wonderful to learn that you are on the road again after too long an absence!
What a great surprise Andrew to find that you and Gordon are tripping around the globe again! Looking forward to the next installment
Thanks Pam