There are twenty two of us. The tour bus parks outside the town and we all get off the bus. The tour guide, whose name is Andrina ( I should remember that) asks us all to follow her to a plaza in the town where the tour will officially start. She says it is just 10 minutes away.

It is an easy stroll, but the temperature is already in the 90’s and it is hot. We get to the plaza and Andrina counts heads to make sure we are all there. We are not. Inexplicably there are now only 18 of us. No one knows what has happened to the other four. Andrina is anxious and asks us all to wait while she walks back to find them. Five minutes later she returns, followed by four extremely overweight people. Between them they must turn the scales at well over 1000 pounds. That is half a ton of bright red sweaty flesh.

We are on an 8 hour tour. It is described in the ships brochure as “Strenuous, with at least 3 hours of walking”. Ten minutes in and they are already gasping for breath and wheezing like french bulldogs, while complaining that the tour guide is walking too fast.

Andrina promises to walk a little slower, then points to a flight of steps and tells us we will get a wonderful view of the town from the top of them. She sets off in that direction. There is a howl of protest from the florid four.

“You expect us to climb those steps?” says one, looking shocked, while at the same time another says “We don’t do steps”

Andrina turns to them and explains that we are about to see a very special and extraordinarily beautiful town

“We know” they say in unison “that’s why we booked the tour”

“But why can’t we see it from the bus?”

Andrina explains that the town is full of narrow streets, it is pedestrian only and it is built on a steep hill.

The florid four are in shock, and for the moment speechless.

“Surely the ship explained to you that there was going to be a lot of walking”

“Well, we wanted to see the town. We may have read that there was some walking involved, but it never said anything about steps. And besides we thought if we asked, you would just drive us around”

The rest of us have been listening to this wondering if our day was going to be completely ruined by these joyless jerks. I was quietly thinking that not only do they sound like french bulldogs, they bear a striking resemblance to those poor animals, mouths open, pink tongues out, jowls wobbling, when a woman steps forward from the group, sticks her face right in front of the frantic four, so close their little pink tongues could lick her cheeks, and quietly says

“You know, in the country I am from, we have a saying”

Then she pauses, pulls back a little, stares right at them and shouts

“WHAT THE FUCK!!”

Dear readers, you might have already guessed from this woman’s delivery and vocabulary, which country she is from.

Yes, she is Australian! And for once we are delighted to have one along with us

We have discovered that 22 of the 220 Australians have stayed on board for another week, and we seem to have a sprinkling of them in this group. Not that Australians could ever be referred to as a sprinkle. More like a thunderstorm! But this one was exactly what we needed. She had expressed what all of us wanted to say and it worked. The half ton of sweaty red flesh quietly parked itself on four reinforced chairs in a nearby cafe and said they would wait there for us.

Andrina never looked more grateful.

The town we have come to see is Alberobello. It is an hour’s drive from the port of Brindisi which lies on the eastern shore of the heel of Italy. It is an extraordinary sight

These curious conical-roofed whitewashed structures are clustered in pockets around the area of Puglia like toadstools. They are called trulli and they can be found nowhere else in the world. The largest concentration of trulli is in Alberobello, a town of just over 10,000 people .

In the sixteenth century this area was controlled by the Acquaviva family. And much like more modern Italian “families”, the Acquavivas ruled by fear, and liked to flout the laws of the land. And much like the Trumps of today taxes were not something they liked to pay. Property taxes were particularly troublesome, as they owned entire villages and towns. But they came up with an ingenious idea. They could simply make the houses disappear whenever they needed to. At least it was simple for them, but not so simple for the peasants under their control.

They ordered the peasants to build their houses without using mortar. Not an easy task, but the peasants, utilising a prehistoric building technique, managed to do just that. They built their houses with conical roofs, each circle of stones being smaller than the one underneath. Now, when the Acquaviva family heard the tax inspectors were coming to their area they simply instructed the families to pull down their homes, something that could be done easily. But putting them back together again was a different matter.

The Acquaviva family were delighted. The peasants, not so much. This went on for two centuries until finally the peasants petitioned the King, telling him what was going on and asking for relief from the treatment they were receiving from the family. The King declared Alberobello to be a “Royal Town” and thus freed the peasants from their feudal lords.

Over 1500 of those original trulli are still standing, which, considering they were built to be easily dismantled, is a testament to the peasant’s ingenuity and building skills. Only a few of the towns inhabitants still live in the trulli, instead they have converted them into restaurants, shops, and airbnbs.

Inside, the trullo (the singular of trulli) is pretty basic

but a little ingenuity from the 21st century can turn them into something much more stylish

Outside, they must always remain the same.

On top of the conical roof there is always a pinacle or white ornament

Some trulli have shapes drawn on the roof, which can be a primitive symbol, a Christian symbol, or a magical symbol.

We spend a wonderful two hours exploring the narrow streets and their charming houses before returning to the square to find the frantic four still looking pink and sweaty but now looking more relaxed.

In front of them sits a pile of empty plates and glasses. They have no idea what they have missed, but there is no point in telling them. They have probably added a few pounds to their half a ton and look quite content.

The next blog will have the rest of the outing