Kandy is only a four hour drive from Ella, and yet it is a different world. And for that we are grateful. It is the second largest city in Sri Lanka. A city for Sri Lankans, not for tourists.

In 1988, it was declared a World Heritage Site, due to its rich history and architecture

its charm, and and its natural beauty

but most importantly, for its religious significance.

Over seventy percent of Sri Lankans are Buddhists, and Kandy is the home of the Temple of the Tooth Relic, one of the most sacred places of worship in the Buddhist world.

Buddhism has a lot going for it, not least of which is the number of teeth Buddha must have had. In our travels we have encountered many temples which have one of Buddha’s teeth enshrined. None the less, we set off to see one more.

We are not the only ones.

Buddhists, we quickly discover, maybe peaceful, but they don’t like to queue. Their elbows are lethal weapons wielded with skill, as they push, shove and force their way through the crowds. I was brought up in England where, as we all know, the English will stand in a polite line for hours, leaving ample space between themselves and the person in front. Unless of course, it is a jumble sale. Then it is everyone for themselves. And we have been to a few jumble sales in our time, so this is nothing we can’t handle. Much to Preeth’s astonishment, we are up those stairs in no time. At the top of the stairs, we look back down and wonder how we made it, and then why!

Now the line must narrow down to a single file as we pass a small window on our left. Inside is what we have all been waiting for. Buddha’s tooth. It is of great significance to every Buddhist but none of them is allowed to stop and worship as the queue behind them relentlessly pushes forwards. I get a quick impression of huge amounts of gold and jewels behind thick glass and even thicker bars, before being given a hard push by a little old lady with the strength of a linebacker.

The tooth is nowhere to be seen. It is apparently hidden in that enormous bell-shaped dome. I can’t believe that we suffered so much and saw so little. Is there really a tooth hidden in all that gold? Has anyone actually seen it?

So, I have to ask. Is there any proof that Buddha had teeth? He could have been a wise old toothless man. Just take a look at all the depictions of Buddha you have seen. His mouth is always closed. There is never a tooth to be seen. Is there a reason for that?

He is certainly not shy about other body parts. Every reclining Buddha show off an enormous pair of feet with the full complement of toes

But wait a minute, what’s this

There is a toe missing

Are we now going to have to visit Temples of the Toe Relic?

But back to his teeth, or lack of them. If he did actually have a full set of pearly whites, how were they harvested? Did one unscrupulous dentist keep pulling them and selling them off to the highest Buddha, oops – sorry, bidder?

Leaving the Temple is no easier than entering it. The believers don’t want to leave their sacred tooth. But I do. It seems almost everyone here is a Buddhist, and they are anxious to continue their reverie. They look for a spot, any spot, where there is a tiny space in the crowds and promptly sit down, regardless of whether they are in anybody’s way. Then somehow they meditate, palms of their hands held together in front of their face, eyes glazed over. Some have even brought snacks. I would find it an odd place to have a picnic, but then I am not a Buddhist.

Treading ever so carefully, we leave the temple and head on to lighter fare. A cultural Show. Something we would normally avoid like the plague. .

But everything we read about the Kandy Cultural Show says this is the exception. It must not be missed. A group of dancers depict various forms of Kandyan dancing, with a group of 7 drummers providing a driving rhythm throughout. This show features 12 different dances which were once native to the area but have now become national dances. Later on in our travels we see the exact same dances performed at at a huge festival in Colombo (wait for the blog!). We even recognise some of the dancers from the show. So it is definitely authentic. And the costumes are fabulous! Well, bring out the Fabulosity Meter and let’s go!

Before we start, I should just issue a word of warning. Should you decide to google it, which I did, make sure you put in the full title, which is the Kandy Cultural Show. I just put in the Kandy show. I came up with a lot of information about this show, but there was also a photo of a very well-endowed young woman wearing next to nothing, who went by the name of Kandy and gave an entirely different type of show, with very little, if any, culture involved.

When we enter the theatre our hearts sink. It looks like a converted railway shed. We were expecting a bit more glamour. OK, a lot more glamour!

But then we hear the drums. The rhythm is slow at first, but gains in tempo and volume until our feet are tapping and our expectations are rising. Then the curtains open, revealing a line of drummers wearing some kind of girdle that finishes at a rather unfortunate height and does nothing for the larger performers

But they can beat those drums!

The music is hypnotic. It is interrupted by a woman’s voice coming over the loud speakers. She is speaking in English, at least I think she is. She tells us all about the first dance. At least I think she does. English is not her strong point. I gather that every dance tells a story, but I don’t gather what those stories are. But it is not important. The dancers tell their own story

As the show goes on, the costumes get more flamboyant. That is not a criticism.

And I am particularly happy to see that size does matter. The bigger the better has always been a motto of mine

Then these two gentlemen appear, and flamboyant takes on a whole new perspective.

We guess from the costumes and their movements that they represent some sort of bird. A slightly effeminate bird.

Next, three men come on and twirl plates, while the women dance around them.

This too is a dance, but I have no idea what it is about. The Fabulosity Meter loves it.

Then things start warming up, literally

The girdle seems to be slipping.

They run the flames up and down their arms and then appear to swallow them. There is no accounting for taste.

And for the finale, things get so hot we have to move outside. A pit has been filled with burning coals, and four of the dancers walk over the coals, completely barefoot, and emerge a little singed but basically unharmed at the other end.

Some seem a little more anxious to get to the other end than others

A leaflet describes the fire walking as having its roots in history when the King of Sri Lanka abducted the wife of an Indian Prince. An epic battle ensues when the Prince regains possession of his wife and then makes her prove her chastity by walking through fire barefoot. There is no mention of how that went for her. But if I were in her shoes, I would hotfoot it back to the King.

And, considering the story, why is it that only the men in the show are doing the walking on hot coals.

But the reviews were right. It has been an amazing show, and the Fabulosity Meter loved it.

And everyone had ten toes and all their teeth.