I have good news for you – but only if your are old enough to remember the Muppets! Well that has narrowed the field down a lot!

If you are of that age, do you remember the two grumpy old gents who hurled insults down from the balcony of the theatre. Statler and Waldorf were their names, and I always felt I could do their job quite well! I felt a particular kinship to Waldorf, the less grumpy of the two.

Wll I am happy to tell you that Waldorf lives – and and at this moment he is having dinner on board the Queen Mary and is sitting at the very next table