Poaching is a huge problem in the Safari Parks. There are two types of poaching. Firstly there is poaching for profit. And the profits are huge, due entirely to China and the East’s insatiable desire for rhino horn which they believe is an aphrodisiac. It used to be elephant tusks that the poachers wanted for the intrinsic value of the ivory but the Chinese desire for a constant erection has saved the elephant and brought the rhino to near extinction.

Rhino horn now sells for $60,000 per kilo and a rhino horn weighs between 5 and 7 kilos. That’s a lot of erections and whatever makes the Chinese horny makes the poachers wealthy.

The other type of poaching is strictly for sustenance. The safari parks are surrounded by townships full of people struggling to eat. For centuries they could kill and eat all the game they wanted and they didn’t go hungry. Then the white man arrived in the form of British Colonials and they shot everything in sight just so they could mount the heads of their kills on their living room walls. This made the Colonials just as horny as the rhino horn does the Chinese, but in a very British sort of way.

Eventually they realised that their desire for good head in their living room was decimating the animal population. They thought about this for a while, and came up with the solution. They would create game reserves and tell the people who actually owned the country that they could no longer kill the animals for food. They were British after all, and they ruled the world. They cared little for how this might affect the Africans and the Africans cared even less for the British.

Our Safari is spectacular.

Sticking my neck out

I would say that the overriding impression is one of aggression. It is definitely a question of he who has the bigger horn wins. Which of course takes us back to the Chinese and their need for aphrodisiacs.

But in the animal kingdom there is the Springbok with its horns

and the Kudo with its horns,but the prize goes to the Cape Buffalo

and of course the rhino, which only has one but he sure knows how to use it

If you don’t have horns, tusks work pretty well

and if you have neither, then you better have an impressive set of teeth. Just ask the lion or our safari tracker

He tells us his name is Fox, which we assume must be his stage (or safari) name. But as we get to know him we wonder if it is his real name. He tells us he has two children. Both boys. He named the first one “Number One” and the second one …………………

wait for it ………….

”Another”.

Counting may not be his strong point, but getting us close to the animals certainly was as witnessed by the above photos.

The Fabulosity Meter was back in full cry.