We wander down a maze of narrow streets, trying not to think of the piles of dead bodies either side of us, looking for the home of Eva Peron. The cemetery is full of visitors and each and every one of them has come for the sole purpose of seeing the grave of Eva Peron. Every other mausoleum pales into insignificance.

There should be “Don’t cry for me , Argentina” playing in the background getting louder as you approach her resting place. I understand that might not be appropriate for a cemetery. But surely a discreet sign pointing us in the right direction could be allowed. But there is nothing.

For an hour we futilely search the cemetery for a clue as to her whereabouts. We know that there will be dozens of gay men prostrating themselves at her feet (or what is left of them), so we decide to follow a gaggle of Argentinian gays hoping they will know the way. At first they seem as lost as us

But then they pick up the scent (it must be said there are many olfactory distractions in this place, most of them unpleasant)

as we follow them down the narrow street we see the crowds ahead telling us we have finally found her

And here it is

As mausoleums go, it is not one of the finest, but it is certainly a crowd pleaser. It is suitably OTT with not just one plaque naming this as the final resting place for Eva Peron,

but several, even one giving the name of the Broadway Musical,  just in case we were in any doubt as to who she was.

This is almost the only tomb in the entire cemetery where people have left things in honor of the deceased. The mausoleum gates are covered in flowers in a gesture of love and respect that is recognised all over the world.

But there is more. Someone has also left a letter

The envelope has Eva Peron’s name carefully written on it, but no forwarding address. This seems a little careless. If you are going to go to the trouble of writing to a person who has been dead for sixty one years, you would think they would have given some thought as to how it was going to be delivered. After all, getting it to the outside of the mausoleum is the easy part.

And do you suppose they will be waiting for a reply?

And what is that photo doing there amongst the flowers? Does somebody think the tourists need to see a photo. We have traveled thousands of miles to see her grave so believe me when I say we know exactly what she looks like.

She looks just like Madonna.

Or has it been left there for Eva’s benefit? I’m sure she too knows that she is a dead ringer for Madge.

And anyway, the dead have long since given up caring what they look like. It is the living who wouldn’t want to be caught dead looking like this