Udaipur and sex in the temple

Our hotel is just a block away from the main attraction. The Royal Palace is a huge imposing structure from the street,

IMG_1412

But the fabulosity meter really rings when you see it from the lake

IMG_1486

At night it looks staggeringly beautiful too.

P1030023

Inside, it is famous for its use of mirror. Entire rooms are covered in mirror tiles, from the walls

IMG_1430

to the ceilings

IMG_1429

And then there is the mirror inlay that is used throughout the building. It is used on decorative panels inside

IMG_1417

and on balcony walls outside

IMG_1455

It is known for its glorious glass and tile mosaic peacocks.

The Maharana’s receiving room is also beautiful. (Cocktail party trivia – a Maharana, we are told, is a Warrior King who goes out and fights the foe, as opposed to the stay at home and marry the enemy’s daughter, Maharaja)

IMG_1443

At the end of this huge complex is the present Royal Residence.

You can always tell when the Maharana is in residence as a large red light is illuminated on top of the building. This seems to be an idea I could use at home, as my adoring public is never quite sure where I am. But perhaps red is not the best color, it can suggest so much more than me just being at home.

When the Maharana’s wife, the Maharani, is in residence the courtyard fountain is turned on as it is in the photo. IMG_1473

When we return half an hour later, the fountain has been turned off. She must have popped out to the shops

The next day Joginder takes us on a drive, but within a few miles we get a flat tire

IMG_1538 Joginder changes the tire, but wants to get the old one fixed so that we have a spare. He finds a local tire shop

IMG_1536

Behind the shop, and across the field someone has set up home

IMG_1534

It takes an hour to get the tire puncture fixed, during which Joginder hovers over the poor mechanic supervising his every move. We try and distract him by asking about his wife. Their home is in northern India and we ask if he has phoned her recently. He says he is tired of phoning her because all she ever does is ask for money. He says she phones him everyday but he doesn’t answer because he knows she will just nag about the bills. He is supposed to be going home after our trip but he says he will only go if he has enough money to keep her happy. We are with him for another ten days and yet he is already applying pressure about the size of his tip

An hour later the mechanic has finished and presents Joginder with a bill of about $8. Joginder is outraged and claims that he is only being charged that much because he is driving white people. He hands him far less than he wants and gets in the car and drives away

We continue our journey to see Nagda,  11th century temples built in Mawar, the first capital of Rajasthan. Mawar no longer exists. Sadly it was flooded when a dam was built to supply water to the neighbouring towns. When the water level is low you can see the top of two temples peeking out of the water. But fortunately the Nagda temples survived. I am not a spiritual person, but something about these temples really touches me.

Maybe it is because so much of it still remains ten centuries later

IMG_1514or maybe it is the setting

IMG_1518or the beautifully intricate interior where each arch is carved out of a single piece of marble.

IMG_1521even the ceilings are amazing

IMG_1516

But whatever it is, I find an an overwhelming sense of peace here.

But there is more to the temples than first meets the eye.

It was a kind of University for Sex Education. Long before Masters and Johnson there were the Nagda temples. There were no text books, no movies, no sex shops in the 11th century. The wise carvers of this temple set out to educate the people about what was available to them at home in the bedroom. So they intricately carved numerous sexual positions into the walls. If you studied hard and did your homework you would eventually be able to copy all of the positions shown on the walls of the temple. Then you would be able to graduate with honours.

Some of the positions you needed to learn wereIMG_1513

The next one is a little more complicated as there appears to be several arms and legs involved

IMG_1512

Many years of yoga are needed before you should attempt this one

IMG_1525

And if sex with other people was not your thing, they wanted to let you know that there were alternatives

IMG_1529

Sadly, the carvings are worn away in places. This is because the restorers who were hired to clean, and restore the carvings decided their job would be a lot quicker if they used chemicals rather than the water cleaning process they were contracted to use, and in just a few months large parts of the carvings that had survived for a thousand years were eaten away.

But fortunately there is still enough detail for us all to learn some new sexual positions, which seems to be the perfect place for you to stop reading and do some homework.

This entry was posted in India and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Udaipur and sex in the temple

  1. Pat says:

    Thanks for that, hHahaha

  2. awc49 says:

    I’ll wait for you to publish the whole manual! Wonderful temple.

  3. Baz says:

    Indians don’t go in for minimalism in any sense, do they?

  4. Michael says:

    Did you see the crystal furniture in the Palace? So you..
    .My inlaid marble table is from Udaipur-heard the story about the inlay being passed off as Italian!

  5. Sally says:

    That sexy temple is extraordinary – would love to visit. Read that there are real concerns about the type of damaging restoration that is done to the Rajasthan forts which are listed by UNESCO – heaven help anything that isn’t listed.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s