It was an extraordinary face. But not in a good way. It was perfectly round, or would have been if it wasn’t for the sagging. Gravity appeared to have pulled the corners of her eyes and mouth down into a permanent frown. She resembled the unhappy version of the smiley face. Two long plaits of blond hair had been decoratively arranged on top giving her the look of an unopened gift. A number of chins made their way down her neck to a British Airways uniform stretched to its very limits. Her name tag announced her as Gretchen. Grouchy Gretchen, as she quickly became known. She was not having a good day.
Nor were her customers.
We were on our way from San Francisco to Athens, via Heathrow, squished into business class, lined up, top to tail in rows of 8 across, like sardines in a tin.
This meant my face was uncomfortably close to my neighbors, leaving us looking almost directly at each other. The British Airways website describes business class this way: “Our Club World seats are designed for relaxing, sleeping, or getting work done, with plenty of space and privacy”. This is B.A’s idea of privacy…….
Gordon and I had the two middle seats facing backwards, a rather unsettling direction to be facing, especially on a steep climb after take off. My body wanted desperately to slide down to the back of the plane, but was stopped from doing so by the seat belt cutting into my stomach. It would appear that British Airways does not allow those using miles (that’s us) to purchase a seat facing forwards. A charming gesture that does not endear them to me in anyway!
The seating arrangement was 2-4-2, with an aisle so narrow the flight attendants couldn’t use carts. See if you can spot the aisle in this photo
This meant that every tray had to be delivered separately from the galley by the flight attendant. Consequently the niceties of a pre-dinner drink and snack were done away with. Instead everything came at once, my pre-dinner drink, the first two courses of dinner, a glass of wine, a glass of water, a bread roll, all unceremoniously piled onto a small tray. To get the tray to me Grouchy Gretchen had to stretch across my neighbor and pass the tray above the partition (see the second photo above) balancing the overloaded tray in one hand, steadying herself with the other while trying desperately to keep her ample bosom out my neighbor’s face. I was beginning to sympathise with Grouchy Gretchen.
Trust me, dear reader, when I tell you the Fabulosity Meter was not making a sound.
And then there was the food. British Airways describes this as “Delicious food using fresh, local ingredients”. We are 30,000 feet above the earth. Where do they get these fresh local ingredients! Never the less, I went for the healthy option of “lightly poached salmon with fresh vegetables”
This is what I got!
After dinner it was bed time. Our seats reclined, and a foot rest folded down from the back of the seat in front. It made for a reasonably comfortable bed. But now access to the aisle was only gained by climbing over the reclined feet of my neighbor. It was virtually impossible to do that without waking him up. He was beginning to side with Grumpy Gretch!
Gordon was much luckier. His neighbor was small and green and never complained, not even when Gordon accidently knocked him to the floor
Now dear readers, I do recognise that a rant on flying business class is coming from a very privileged point of view, a first world problem I admit, but I would like to remind you that this blog is called Andrew’s Fabulous Travel Blog.
I like to travel fabulously.
Today I was not.
B.A. stands for Bloody Awful
Andrews Fabulous Travel Blog 
Gone are the days of getting dressed up to fly!
Hi Bonnie. You are so right!
my, my, my…what is one to do?
Hi Bob! Suffer is the anwer to your question! But not in silence
have a FABULOUS trip. Look forward to your posts.
Similar experience this past Fall going BA Business class to Egypt via Heathrow .
Hey Andrew, really enjoyed this entry and your blog. Have you had any experience with the new BA Club World Suites in Business? Hard to pin down which flights and airports have the new kits/planes. Any info on this would be appreciated! Thanks!
Hi Vikki. The short answer is no. We fly out of San Francisoc which is very much a second tier of airports fo many of the arilines, including BA> We tend to get older planes. But check out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U0y6Xcnmkk. It might be helpful
In fact you might have done better back w the riff raff
At least you didn’t pay money for those tickets
Going to Athens. – will you be visiting Greece then???!!!
❤️❤️
Hi Colette. We are in Athens for 3 days – then 21 days on Seabourn traveling the Greek and Turkish Islands and ending up in Venice (But not Crete). Its a tough life.!
So sorry you had to endure such unpleasantness.
I will let you know what I expect to be a fabulous experience flying business class on Turkish air Istanbul to Seattle Thursday.
Hugs, Mary🥰❤️🍾
Hi Mary
We have been following the adventures of Mary and Susan!! Seems like you are having a great time!
Enjoy Turkish Airlines and Istanbul
Andrew
BUt ….. you are on your way to another Fabulous adventure in Athens ….❤️❤️❤️ that is Fabulous !
Hi Cina. Not as fabulous as your morning walks – we love the photos!!
Oh dear, not a good start. I’m sure it will get better.
Oh dear. Not a good start. It will get better.
Tony, it will!!!
We can sympathise, but it could be worse: One time we were in the business class lounge at LAX, watching an Australian couple get very drunk while their 4 children ran riot, including one climbing up onto a counter and into a bain marie. Needless to say they boarded our flight and we all tried to move seats to get away from them but to no avail, as the wife became obnoxious then comatose, and the children ran loops around the business class cabin and slid down the dividing panels next to our seats, while we firmly pushed them back up. The food was fabulous, and the seats very well laid out, but not a good experience – at least it wasn’t BA.
This glamorous life we lead! But someone has to do it
Put your grips on trip adviser and tell BA all about it. You may get the help you need. BA doesn’t like bad publicity xx
B.A. knows all about it, Una. They have the blog!!!
Hey great article
As a gold member couldn’t agree more.
I take an average of 2.5/3 flights per month (+returns) and if it wasn’t for (I) the First check in at T5 (but the food at the lounge is awful) (ii) access to Cathay Pacific lounge at T3 (III) the reasonably good customer service (but only if you are a top tier customer) and finally (IV) the fact I live in London so BA is pretty much the only choice to keep collecting points, I would.not ever buy a long flight with ba, in fact whilst the flights within the EU are decent (but not when they ask a third party to operate the flight as often they don’t pay for in flight internet access) flying to America or Asia is a total total mess (and thank god they don’t flight those 30 years old 747 anymore).
If you flight towards America would suggest to flight American airlines even.if that means a longer journey, if you flight towards Asia Cathay or Qatar
Thanks Tommy.