Breaking news from England. Faggots are back in fashion.

Northern England is the birthplace of the faggot. That does not mean that all homosexuals are born here for which my mother and I are eternally grateful. But today faggots can be found on most busy streets in almost every town in the north. And their new found popularity means they now appear on the occasional high street down south as well, a fact that is shocking some of the less well travelled. It is a fast changing world

Faggots, for those of you who don’t know, have been around for centuries. They were particularly popular with the poor, mainly because they could be bought for very little money. They are made from parts of the pig that most people don’t want to eat. If you want to try one, here is what you have to do. Find a butcher where you can buy a pig’s heart, a pig’s liver and some pig’s belly fat. Take them home and grind them all up into a mince. Then add a lot of herbs to mask the taste. Next take a small scoop of the mixture and roll it into a ball. Then pop back out to the butcher and get the stomach membrane of that same pig. Don’t worry, the butcher won’t have sold it! Wrap the ball in the stomach membrane.

If you have trouble finding the heart and liver, some recipes allow you to substitute testicles (the pig’s!)

If you have followed my instructions carefully, this is what you will be looking at right now

Actually that is known as a naked faggot. It is not very appetising and needs dressing.

So now you roll it in breadcrumbs, and deep fry it, or bake it. Now it is ready for eating, but are you ready to eat it.

 These tasty morsels have been called faggots for centuries until a few years ago when they became popular with the new age foodies and their “nose to tail eating” trend . They felt the slang connotations that went with the name would be offensive to some. After all which self respecting homosexual would like to be compared to a cheap piece of meat.

So for some unknown reason they are now called “Savory Ducks”. I know you think I am making it up, but it is absolutely true. A local butcher who sells them for 46 pence each (about 60 cents) told me tourists buy them thinking they are going to be full of duck. Which is not an unreasonable assumption.

What is wrong with “Savory pork”?