Xavier ignores our guide and takes over from him, happy to have his Rick Flare look alike under his wing. And if that means I have to tag along too he will accept that.

He leads us inside a building that looks like one of the slums we have just driven by. Inside is a stage set where they are filming a hospital drama. We are allowed to sit at the back of the set as long as we are quiet.

The scene involves a patient being wheeled into reception where an argument occurs between the patient and the receptionist. The police are also there. We have no idea what is going on, but it is fun to watch the many takes

Xavier whispers to us that the actor playing the patient is very famous – “ and sooooo handsome” he adds with a great deal of emphasis on the word “so”, as a little saliva dribbles from the side of his mouth.

“Would you like to have a photo taken with him?” Xavier asks

Of course we would

Xavier waves at him in between takes and calls him over. He comes! There is more to Xavier than meets the eye.

He graciously poses for photos and chats for a while. Xavier is right about him being handsome but he also has charm to go with it.

Plus he takes “big hair” to a whole new level

From there we go to another set where they are filming a period piece involving a jail.

We can’t get close, but can stand behind a technician recording it all.

At that point a third man wearing a red Bollywood tour T shirt comes over and introduces himself as the boss. He is rather an unpleasant man, both to look at and to talk to. Sweaty and greasy with strands of thinning hair stuck to his forehead, a five day stubble and wearing oversized aviator sunglasses, he looks like a complete sleazeball

As if to prove the point he insists that we take a photo of the three of them. We are reluctant but he is insistent. As I get my camera out, he spends several minutes adjusting his hair, his T Shirt and jeans. It doesn’t help. He still looks like a sleazeball. And why does he want us to take his photo?

I presume he thinks we are going to frame it and have it sitting on our mantelpiece. He tells us that he is training to be a lawyer. He has two more years to go and then he wants to specialize in men’s rights. He is tired of the new generation of women always screaming for women’s rights, running roughshod over men and wanting to kill them all (his words). The pendulum has swung too far, he says, and now India needs someone to fight for men’s rights. And that will be him. Get those women back in the kitchen where they belong!

He is a sleazeball AND a prick!

Xavier, sensing that the atmosphere is changing (flamboyant and smart – this man is going to go far) suggests it is time to visit another area where they are building a huge set for what will be a Netflix film. The company is very excited about this project and is putting a great deal of money into it.

We approach a warehouse with two huge doors.

At first sight it seems nothing but once inside it is quite amazing .

They have built an entire street out of plywood

Even the tree is hand made

Now this is more like it.

But then a whistle blows and it is break time. The lights are turned down and the workers settle in for an hours nap.

We have to leave

Xavier leads us back outside and up a flight of stairs

Inside is a huge set of a rather glamorous apartment.

It is a permanent set that can be made to look different each time it is used by changing the furniture and the paint color.

Meanwhile the Sleazeball has tracked us down again and starts telling us how he loves the look of this apartment. He is taking photos of it. He tells us that in a few years, when he is a successful lawyer, this is exactly how he wants his house to be.

He particularly likes the bedroom

I am sure he thinks there will be a lot of action in his bedroom, especially if it looks like this! Somehow I doubt it. Should I tell him that it is how HE looks that matters?

And this, he tells us, is exactly how his lawyers office is going to look

Hopefully he will tidy it up a bit first! He explains to us lesser mortals that it is important for a lawyer to have a very expensive looking office because then people will believe he is successful. I am sure he thinks there will be a lot of action in his office too! Again, I doubt it!

Xavier comes to our rescue once again and whisks us away. If the Sleazeball wants to succeed he needs to keep hold of Xavier. He is worth his weight in gold – and that is a lot of gold.

It is time to go. Xavier gives us another huge hug and hands us back to our guide. The sleazeball grips my hand in both of his clammy paws, attempts a sincere, open and friendly look, but it is beyond him, and says that he hopes, as a special favour to him, that we will give him a 5 star review on Trip Advisor.

Once again ……………I doubt it.

But five starts will definitely go to Xavier

Bollywood was not what we expected but it did not disappoint.