I interrupt this blog to issue an Emergency Alert.

The Australians are coming!

A very large group of them will be joining the ship later today.

We know this because the staff on board look as if they are preparing for war. The bar staff have all been issued with ear plugs and protective clothing!

Dear readers, those of you who have been unfortunate enough to have been following me for some years, know that I have a teeny weeny phobia about Australians. But over the years, helped by gentle prodding from some of you, I have become much more tolerant. I can even say I have friends who are Australian. Wow! See how I have grown!

But a whole contingent of them on board a comparatively small ship with bars on every deck might test that tolerance.

Seabourn sold this cruise to us as a 21 day cruise. It turns out that it is 3 seven day cruises. In future we will read the fine print. This means that every seven days about 3/4 of the 600 people that Seabourn Encore holds disembark to be replaced by a whole new contingent.
Today the replacements are mainly Australians. 280 of the buggers to be precise. And they are traveling together, so they all know each other. Apparently it is a company outing.
OK, I admit I would like to work for that company. But it means the next week is going to be one big party to which the other 300 guests on board are not invited but will have to live through.
Two of those guests are us.

At 4.05 pm the first coach arrives. We know the exact time because of the noise that suddenly erupts on the deck below us. It appears that they have been drinking. Buses keep coming and unloading more of the charming group for the next two hours. By 7pm the ship is LOUD!
By 8pm there are packs of them exploring the ship looking for the bars and the restaurants. Each one of them, men and women, have a bottle of beer in one hand and a bag of chips in the other. The men are all wearing shorts despite a dress code that specifies no shorts after 6pm. The women are wearing short flared dresses with a lot of color, that show off too much leg at one end and too much bosom at the other end. But it is hard to write a dress code to cover that.

At 8.30 we are eating outside by the pool. It is a casual restaurant, but not that casual. A party of 11 Australians dressed for a day at the beach take a table near us. A few minutes later the 12th one arrives. He is carrying a tray piled high with bottles of beer. A loud cheer erupts from the other 11.

The waiters are in shock. They stand around unsure how to deal with this.

The other 300 passengers have the same feeling. We paid a great deal of money to be on a Seabourn Cruise. If we wanted a party ship we would have paid a lot less money and sailed with Norwegian.

I sense two things.

One: Seabourn is going to start receiving a great number of complaints starting tomorrow morning.

Two: I might have to revive passenger of the week, if not passenger of the day.

EMERGENCY ALERT! EMERGENCY ALERT!