Does your budgie need smuggling?


Yes, dear readers, I am in Australia despite all my well known prejudices.

If truth be known I am softening a little in my feelings towards Australians. I find I actually like some of them, which is a bit of a shock. But there is still plenty of room for improvement – in Australians, not in me, obviously

We are visiting a friend who I shall call Anthony. It is his name after all. For some unknown reason he decided to emigrate to Australia and we find ourselves in a seaside resort on the Sunshine Coast that goes by the wonderful name of Mooloolaba. Who wouldn’t want to live in a town with such a mellifluous name. And if a mellifluous name is what you are looking for, you are spoiled for choices around here. There is Coondoo, Yaroombah, Cougharaba and my personal favourite, Diddillibah. There are only five vowels in the English language and Australians like to make good use of them. It is so much easier than trying to remember the entire alphabet.

Mooloolaba, I have to admit, has its charms situated as it is on a long curving bay with sparkling blue water rolling onto a gently sloping beach of pristine sand.

The town is bustling with holiday makers and locals nearly all of whom are Australians, but I am trying hard not to let that colour my judgment. The women seem to favour long flowing loosely fitting dresses which are cool in the heat of the summer. The men wear ugly loose fitting t-shirts with stupid sayings on them, but I am trying hard not to let that colour my judgment.

It isn’t working.

Under the ugly T shirts they wear baggy board shorts that flap around their knees. Australia is all about the beach, surfing, swimming and the outdoor life. Most young Australians are extremely fit, but seem reluctant to advertise that fact. Until, that is, they hit the beach, and then all their inhibitions are thrown to one side, along with most of their clothing. Suddenly there are dozens of young handsome men with tanned, toned bodies parading up and down in nothing but the smallest pair of speedos, pausing to stop and smile into my camera

I really am learning to like Australians

They have a name for these tiny speedos. They call them budgie smugglers.

For those of you who don’t know what a budgie is…

…… it is the name given to a small Australian bird (a budgerigar) which wearers appear to be concealing within their swimwear. I leave it to you, dear readers, to decide just how accurate that description may be.

Unbeknownst to us, and even to Anthony who lives here, Mooloolaba is hosting the 2023 Queensland Surf Life Saving Competition this very week. It is a big deal.

The entire length of the beach is packed with contestants, who are divided into different areas. There are men, women, youths and children all dressed in nothing but tiny swim suits and a lot of sunscreen. Somehow I gravitate to the men’s section.

But there are marshals everywhere keeping the public off the beach. I and everyone else are expected to stay on the boardwalk above the beach where you can definitely enjoy the races but can’t get up close and personal with the contestants. That just won’t do! I need to be on the beach with all those men. But please understand I am doing this for you, dear readers, so that you can enjoy my photos of the various events. Any pleasure I might get is entirely irrelevant.

I have a set of keys to Anthony’s apartment on a long lanyard. I get a name tag from my suitcase add it to the set of keys and hang everything around my neck. Suddenly I can walk right past the marshals and onto the beach without them saying a word. I am surrounded by handsome men wearing very little. It’s a dream come true!

I try hard to focus on the various events. But sometimes my eyes wander

But the atmosphere all around me is electric. There are events going on everywhere, and the excitement is palpable. I remember my commitment to you and turn my attention to the various events.

To my right they are lining up with their surfboards. As the starting gun goes off they race into the water with their boards, fight their way through the surf and paddle out to the finish line.

To my left the men are competing in a mile long swimming race culminating in a dash through the surf and up onto the beach.

The competiton goes on for 3 days. My lanyard allows me access to the beach whenever I want. It has been a long time since I have had so much fun.

But there are only so many budgie smugglers one can look at before the excitement wears off. Who knew!

I need a little more.

I go in search of a parrot smuggler.

Damn, I love Australia.

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16 Responses to Does your budgie need smuggling?

  1. Una says:

    Who wouldn’t love Aus…I nearly burnt my breakfast toast this morning reading your blog. Love those little buggie smugglers.

  2. Suzie says:

    Is the lovely Gordon with you on this trip as he seems to have been sidelined!!
    Looks fabulous and can’t wait for the next instalment
    It would be Beanie’s ultimate holiday!! Much love to BOTH!! S xxxxx

  3. Bonnie says:

    When do we see your budgie smuggler?

  4. Jane says:

    You´re back in stride, Andrew. Budgie Smugglers indeed.

  5. Robert King says:

    Love your Budgies and the Australians!! They just love having fun me too. Hugs

  6. Sardinia says:

    Funny post and approach of Australia!!! I love the budgie smugglers(the bird of course!!!) I am discovering your blog, I think I will love it and …laugh a lot. Thank you!

  7. owenaja says:

    First, give Antony a big hug for Joaquin and me. Second, I am assuming that to get onto the beach you have to be likewise un-attired, correct? So, let’s see your budgie smuggler!

  8. andrew says:

    Mmmm! That would not be pretty!

  9. Cina says:

    So happy to hear you two are on the move again !! What fun ! Tweet tweet ❤️👏🏻😂

  10. Evan says:

    Hey laughed so hard , thank you And I learnt a whole bunch of new words too 😁 I’m in PV now till April 23. Take care. Big hugs. Evan 😎

  11. Colette says:

    FUN!!! I am looking forward to this trip! Love –

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